Trust Yourself

Smart Trust is a new book just released by two friends of mine, Greg Link and Stephen M.R. Covey. It makes a strong case that people who love one another produce more, enjoy more and love more because they trust each other. The same, they say, is true of business enterprise and governments. It turns out the happiest people live in high trust cultures. The problem of course is that much of the world and many, many people are not trustworthy. Self-interest trumps very, very often when the payoffs of betrayal overwhelm commitment and integrity. That’s why, the authors say, we need to be smart about whom we trust and what we invest our trust in.

I believe my friends’ case for trust. Imagine how great the world would be if we could trust each other. I know, miniature unicorns might also be fascinating pets if they existed. My experience is that real trust is extremely fragile. Even people with long track records of perfect behavior can let us down or even cut our hearts out. Our entire economy is built on financial Darwinism where “buyer beware” is the only sensible course of action. Remember how we all got scolded for buying houses with too-big mortgages because we trusted both the banks and system? And yet when it all blew up we were told we should have read the fine print and only a fool would trust a mortgage broker. Of course I wish we could de-regulate the economy, and when we quit selling things like e. coli-laced meat and tainted medicine, I’ll be the first in line.

But self-interest is a very hard thing to control with either self-control or a very slow and sloppy marketplace. So it turns out life is scary. Both personally and professionally. We get whacked by bad relationships and are often disappointed by  our bosses, co-workers, and all the rest. What are we to do if we can’t trust?

Well, it’s foolish to live in a state of perpetual cynicism. What I have found is that it’s most important to increase your self-trust. Our core beliefs must be that “no matter what happens, I can deal with it.” Life is terminal in the end. We all end up the same way. So in that sense we have nothing to lose by being bold in our thinking. We are wise not to require trust in others to thrive. Even if they don’t keep their commitments, you can be just fine. The quality of your inner life does not depend on others doing what they should. Whatever happens, you can recover, grow, and move on. One of the great purposes of life is learning how strong we can be. It’s true.

After going through a very, very rough period in my life, a friend said to me, “Wow, you have nothing left to fear. Every unthinkable, bad thing you never wanted to happen has happened and you’re still standing. What a gift!” His words struck me. The nature of human resilience is unlimited. Live with optimism. Act with courage. No matter how bad it gets, it can get better again if you get up and keep moving. You do have a unique Superpower that is your way of creating a better future. Trust Yourself.

Through great adversity we are almost ready to launch our “Turn Your Superpower into Your Career” course. This week we are asking 10 to 15 people to beta-test it online. If you want to follow our progress, join us on Facebook. And as always, if you have questions, email me at askwill@thoughtrocket.com