Your Perfect Holiday Vacation

My 13-year-old granddaughter recently visited, and (to my shock) had never seen the movie What About Bob? That’s the one where a super neurotic psychiatrist (Richard Dreyfus) tells an ultra neurotic patient (Bill Murray) that he could change his life by taking “baby steps.”

That advice was so clear and so potent that it’s become part of pop culture.

As we sat together watching the movie I was jolted by a second piece of profound advice.  Crazy, frightened-of-his-own-shadow Bill was given a prescription to “take a vacation from his problems.”

Well…it turns out that’s pretty great advice if we want to increase our feelings of optimism, contentment, and happiness.  To take a vacation from our problems means we cease to dwell on what we don’t have and what’s wrong, and focus on what we do have and what’s working in our lives.

This is especially important with people.

Sustaining relationships is hard.  That I know for a fact.  Some interesting research reveals that the happiest people in relationships are those who have an unrealistic view of their loved one.  People who are “insanely” positive about their spouse/partner are much happier and high-functioning than those who more coldly and accurately see each other’s downsides.

I am not talking about relationship-ending faults like abuse, addiction, or infidelity.  I am talking about the everyday quirks and uncorrected faults we all have, that we don’t believe matter.  After all, we are normal and everyone else is weird and obnoxious, right?

Well, try an experiment.  What if we all took a vacation from our inner and outer criticism of those whom we love?  Just for the few weeks between now and New Year’s, what if we accept in each other all our raw, imperfect messiness?

What if we offered one positive, authentic compliment once a day with a genuine smile?  That’s a gift we all would enjoy receiving, and it’s also a gift that generates positive brain chemistry in the giver.  That’s the great thing about genuine, loving affirmation.  It makes both the receiver and giver happier.

We have about 21 days until New Year’s.  21 vacation days from criticism.  21 days of gift giving.  ’Tis the season.

What does it take to live a better life? Action! Nothing will change until you do something. Sign up for ThoughtRocket’s daily challenges and see action ignite your life. Scientific research and practical inspiration are fused together in quick, powerful messages sent to your email three times a week. Click here to subscribe, or visit ThoughtRocket.com to learn more.